5 Things Ladies Consider Before Having S£X With A Guy

No lady will just bump into a man and open her thighs for him just like that, not unless she is drunk or she has over checked you about these five things here.


#1. We shave. Shave it all: If I could afford it, I would most definitely have a wizard with a laser remove all of the hair from my legs and underarms, and possibly even my bikini line if that’s a thing that we do now. You get the point.

#2. We tweeze and wax: Oh, you didn’t think my eyebrows were instruments of sεduction? ‘eyebrow game’ is a thing. And few things make me feel like a new woman like shaping my eyebrows into strong and beautiful bitch-in-charge contours above my eyes. When I win the eyebrow game, best believe I’m feeling like I could kick even Cara DeLevigne’s bushy browed a**. Also, I wax my upper lip because I’m Sicilian and I don’t want a moustache.

#3. We tell our friends we’re going to have s’εx with you: Sorry. Maybe this doesn’t apply to all of you moral angels out there in this online world, but if I’m planning on having s’εx with a guy, I’m also telling two different group texts of my closest friends that I’m going to do so. Why? I don’t know. It’s a lot like sending them pictures of me in a dressing room in different outfits I’m trying on. It’s fun and stops me from making a terrible mistake out of desperation.

#4. We think about it: We think about what you’re going to look like nakεd, if you’ll be the kind of person who uses all soft, light touches that almost tickle, or if you’ll be the kind who makes strong grabs that feel confident and sure. We think about when it will happen, what the color of your sheets will be. For the love of God, we hope you’ll have sheets. But I digress. Girls think about s’εx. We think about it a lot. We’re told that we don’t and shouldn’t think about it as much as guys, but then we do, and we catch ourselves saying things like, “I’m acting like a dude.” No, you’re normal. Whether we’re thinking about having s’εx with a guy or a girl or just s’εx in the abstract of maybe wanting to have it sometime with someone, we’re still thinking about s’εx. Human beings are kind of into that in general, regardless of gender. Science!

#5. We plan. The logistics of this are essential. If I’ve already put all this time and hair removing into it, then we’d better make it good. I’m not trying to do this drunk after we run into each other at the local bar. We’re making plans, whether it’s dinner, or a movie, or brunch, or getting stoned in your car and then watching Netflix, there’s going to be a before, during, and after. I’m planning the day and the time and the thing. Maybe I’m planning what I’ll wear. Maybe we’re thinking and planning and doing all of this because we’re nervous and want to be confident, or maybe it’s just a matter of making the time pass between then and now, until there’s no distance, time, or space between us.

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